Blogger Bio: I am a multitude of complexities wrapped up in one being with a purposely messy bow.
Lately, I have been feeling like a bottle of pent up uncontrollable energy. Good and bad vibrations bombarding one another just waiting to burst. Without a doubt, this has caused a lot of undue stress and anxiety. And that’s okay. I have to remind myself sometimes that I am only human. I believe that we tend to hustle and bustle about life attempting to accomplish some major goal (insert made up statistic and cite with self-belief) about 95% of the time. Forgetting to slow down, relax, and enjoy the voyage.
I live a life made up of lists and schedules. Virtual notepads filled with lists for tasks to accomplish in the next 12 hours, days and maybe even years. Now these tasks range from the mundane day to day responsibilities to major deadlines. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my lists. Some days I find it hard to get out of bed until I make a simple list (judge me not). But, I have noticed that I have started to schedule little me time. Somewhere along the lines, I started making lists of things to please bosses and loved ones before myself.
With the start of a new semester, and seasonal changes happening within those around me as well as myself, the pressure was on. With so much to tend to, I found myself riddled with guilt for taking the time to just sit quietly and meditate. Why? Because this lecture has to be posted, these emails need responses, this paperwork, that training, those bills, that promise to a friend…. I needed the time to just b r e a t h e. So, I took it. It was a moment of mental exhaustion that was ABSOLUTELY needed.
I say all of that to say this: be selfish. Take time out to care for you. Have some unscheduled, uninhibited fun. When I was younger, I had a secret field where I would go to lay down and stare at the clouds. It was a simple place during a complicated time that could make the world stand still. I have begun chasing that moment. I am building my fortress of solitude… a place where I may rest, but where loved ones are always welcome. I am abolishing the negative connotations attached to selfishness and unapologetically being myself. I am removing the norms that have been embedded throughout life, and challenging them with what I believe is my normal. I am aware that thoughts become things, and I am protecting and projecting my energy. And lastly, I am challenging all those who are like me to do the same – but no pressure.