As a recently married couple, my husband and I have learned a lot about each other and marriage within our first year of marriage. We have learned what and what not to do in certain situations. We have also learned about the beauty of marriage from a biblical standpoint, and today I will be sharing my best marriage advice for newlyweds!
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What is the definition of Marriage in the Bible?
So what is the definition of Marriage in the Bible?
God explains marriage as a God-ordained covenant between one man and one woman. God gives us this example with Jesus and his bride(the church.)
When a man and woman get married, the man and woman become one.
“Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Genesis 2 :24
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it”
Ephesians 5:25
What is God’s purpose for marriage?
So now that we know how marriage is defined in the Bible, let’s talk about the purpose of marriage.
As I mentioned above, God gave us an example of a covenant between Jesus and his bride (the church.)
The purpose of our marriage is to reflect the covenant between Jesus and his bride.
God’s purpose for Marriage in the Bible is that when Christian couples marry to honor God, this shows others the covenant God wants with his people.
We are to be the light of this world and to share the light so that we may honor and glorify God.
Roles In Marriage
As Christ was the head of His church (his bride), so were the husbands, the head of the household, and his wife.
The husband is the role of Christ, and the woman is the church’s role.
The role of a husband is to love his wife as their body.
“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”
Ephesians 5:28
The husband is to be the leader, and to be the leader, he must provide in one way or another, be proactive, pursue God, be the pastor of his home, and be the protector of his house.
“Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially their household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever”
1 Timothy 5 : 8
Wives should submit to their husbands, and we submit to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church.
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. As the church submits to Christ, wives should also submit to their husbands in everything.”
Ephesians 5:21-24
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient bearing with one another in love.”
Ephesians 4:2
We are to be humble, gentle, and patient for both men and women.
If you are like me and my husband and waited to move in with each other after we got married, listen up.
So my husband and I moved out for the first time together. We had never been out on our own, so moving in together was a learning process.
Not that it was hard to live with each other, but it was a different point of view of how the other lives.
We weren’t completely shocked because we know each other very well and saw how each other lived when we were with our parents.
Related : How To Prepare For Marriage In A Season Of Singleness
However, we were raised very differently, with our chores being different, and the process of doing chores was very different.
We both grew up with our own way of living and doing things, so moving in together was quite an adjustment.
But one thing about our situation is that we have been learning together. We have been figuring out our daily routines and habits as we go.
We both know now what roles we do best in the house and what chores we can help each other with most.
You don’t have to have specific chores, but for us, we both work, so we both want to make sure we are doing all we can to help each other out.
Best newlywed marriage advice my husband and I have got
The best marriage advice my husband and I have gotten within one year of marriage is to never take each other for granted.
You wouldn’t believe how easy it is to take things for granted. We all do it all the time!
One thing we should never take for granted is our spouse. When we take each other for granted, we don’t realize it puts a wedge between us and our spouse, which could lead to resentment in us.
I heard this saying that said; our parents love us because we are their children. Our siblings love us because we are their siblings.
But our spouse is the only one who CHOSE and decided to love you for you.
This represents the love that God has for us. He chooses to love us, not because he has to, but because he loves us unconditionally no matter what.
Another piece of marriage advice for newlyweds we got was constantly communicating.
The 3 c’s of a Christian marriage
Christ, Communication, and Commitment
The first C of a Christian marriage is Christ. This is because God comes first, and with God comes Jesus Christ.
The first C is the most important to keep in your marriage.
Marriage Advice For Newlyweds #1
Keep God First
To have a long and fruitful marriage, we must keep God first and have a relationship with him.
There is a visual that I love, and it goes like this: Picture a triangle and how it has 3 points.
Each point stands for something different. The very top point of the triangle is God. The two bottom points of the triangle are you and your spouse.
As you and your spouse get closer and closer to God, you will both eventually meet at that very top point which is what we want.
We want to be one with God. We want a covenant between God and our spouse.
Marriage Advice For Newlyweds #2
Serve
When we keep God first in our marriage, we should love like Jesus daily.
We should continue to be more like Jesus and love our spouses like Jesus loves his bride.
With that being said, one thing we must do is to serve each other. Jesus is the only King who serves.
He taught us that we must serve if we want to be first. If we want to be last, we will be served on.
There is a great pleasure when serving your spouse. To know that I am doing what God has called me to do and serve my husband is an honor.
It not only brings us closer to each other, but it brings us closer to God.
When we serve each other, we show others God is in our marriage.
Marriage Advice For Newlyweds #3
Love Unconditionally And Forgive
Another thing we must do when keeping God first is to love and forgive like him.
In marriage, there will be plenty of times to practice your forgiveness.
Trust me when I say that forgiving your spouse is something you should be prepared for daily.
If we want to be forgiven by God or our spouse when we mess up, we must be able to forgive ourselves and our spouse.
We also must love like Christ loves his bride. This means to love unconditionally.
I don’t know about you, but loving someone unconditionally is not something that we have been taught that often.
When somebody hurts us, we tend to hate others for the wrongs that they have done.
There will be many wrongdoings in a marriage, and we must be there to love our spouse unconditionally.
Remember, we are the only ones who CHOSE to love our spouse like Christ loves the church.
The second C is for communication. I mentioned above that one of the best advice that we have gotten is to communicate often.
Related: What To Look For In A Christian Guy
Marriage Advice For Newlyweds #4
Arguments
Go into marriage with the mindset that you and your spouse will have arguments.
We have to be realistic when it comes to marriage.
There will be arguments and disagreements, no doubt. My advice to you is to learn how to fight.
I have a blog post, “6 Steps To Prepare For Marriage,” where I go over more in-depth what to prepare yourself for when thinking about marriage.
One thing we must prepare ourselves for is how we handle our disagreements with our spouses.
We all have a fighting language. Whether walking away and regrouping or needing to find a solution asap, we have to learn how we and our spouse respond.
It would help if you learned each other’s triggers and breaking points and tried your hardest not to push your spouse past their limit.
When you have a disagreement, make sure you are not being ugly or demeaning.
We are all human, so sometimes that happens. Sometimes anger gets the best of us.
That’s why forgiveness is so important, as I mentioned above.
Once you learn how each of you responds to disagreements, there needs to be respect for your spouse’s boundaries.
Marriage Advice For Newlyweds #5
Conversations
It is essential to communicate about all decisions so that you both can be on the same page.
Being on the same page is imperative since you both are one now.
Make sure you have those important conversations about your finances, how you want to raise your children, how holidays will be celebrated, and how often you visit friends and family.
These are just a few significant conversations that you both need to have with each other to be on the same page and not be shocked.
One thing my husband and I practice when it comes to visiting family is; I grew up with a split family, so for years, I was all over the place splitting holidays with both families.
Now that my husband and I are married, we have an additional family to add to our plan-making. So we are very busy people, especially around the holidays.
That said, my husband and I consider that when we are asked to visit or make plans with family.
We never decide without letting our family or friends know we want to talk to our significant other.
If you and your spouse disagree, going to family or friends and speaking badly about your spouse and how they upset you is not beneficial.
When you do that, you are tarnishing the image of your spouse to your family and friends. You don’t want them to have a wrong impression of your spouse.
When you talk to somebody else about a disagreement with your spouse, be kind and uplifting, own up to your mistakes, and don’t tarnish the image of your spouse. We all make mistakes.
Marriage Advice For Newlyweds #6
Picking Up The Slack
The Third C Is For Commitment. We must stay committed to our spouse to have a God-honoring and fruitful marriage.
Commitment is huge in marriage.Just like we need to stay committed to God, we must remain committed to our spouse.
We can practice commitment by staying faithful to our spouse and only our spouse.
Another way we can practice commitment is by staying committed to praying for, encouraging, and supporting our spouse.
In a marriage, people often think it’s 50 / 50 when in reality, it’s not. Do you think Jesus gave 50% of himself to us?
No, he gave his 100% to us. We need to do the same for our spouses. The difference between us is that we will fail.
That is why we must give our 100% because if one slacks or falls behind, guess who’s there to pick up the slack?
Your spouse should! Come to marriage with a 100 / 100 mindset.
Marriage Advice For Newlyweds #7
Honesty
Commit to stay honest with your spouse. The truth will always come out, and it should come out sooner than later.
Honesty is fundamental when trying to be on the same page. How can you be on the same page without being honest?
Marriage Advice For Newlyweds #8
Time Management
Learning how to manage your time is vital for you and your spouse. Somewhere is always going to get more of your energy than others.
For example, if you give more energy to work, you will give less energy to your spouse/family.
If you give more time to your family, then your work will not get much attention. Finding the balance and what works for you and your spouse is crucial.
It’s all about finding your priority and making time for them.
Marriage Advice For Newlyweds #9
Date Night
A critical piece of advice I can give is to have a designated date night. It can be any day of the week that works for your schedule.
In marriage, the dating doesn’t stop. It would help if you continued to date your spouse.
My husband and I do a date night once a week or sometimes once every two weeks. We have pretty busy schedules, so we don’t get to go out that often.
Going out is expensive, so going out that often is not always an option. You can have date nights at the house! Spending little to no money.
It is all about being intentional. Being intentional with your time is very beneficial for your marriage.
My husband and I embrace each other when the other gets home from work. If possible, we stop what we are doing, we hug, and then we sit down and talk about the day.
This is us being intentional about the time that we have together. There are many other ways that you can be intentional. It’s whatever works for you and your spouse.
A Bonus C For Marriage Is Community
Community is so essential for single but especially for married couples. Having married friends is beneficial for your marriage and your relationship with God.
Something that was explained to me once by a pastor was that as a single or a married couple, we should have friends who are below us, meaning not quite at the stage we are at, where we can help them and give them advice about a season we have already walked through.
Then we should have friends who are beside us, at the same stage as us.
That way, you have friends you can walk through seasons with and relate to and support each other by sharing and giving advice.
The last one is to have friends above you, who is either more mature in their walk with the Lord or have been married for a longer time.
This will help to seek advice from married couples who have learned a thing or two about marriage.
As a Married couple, it is easy to compare yourselves to other married couples. Comparison is not of the Lord.
He created us in his own image. In a marriage, you have your own unique relationship, so we shouldn’t compare our marriage or spouse to others.
Conclusion
So there you have it, my 9 best tips for newly married Christian couples, including some bonus tips! If you liked this post, be sure to check out my other ones and share with friends!
