As a new wife, I frequently look back and think about all the Christian dating tips that I have received and learned through my own experiences. I look back and feel thankful and blessed to have gotten such great advice. I have also learned some things along the way that I will be sharing with you today.
As Christians, it is so important to date differently than the world. We are called to live differently and sometimes that means to sacrifice some things of the world. in order to have a great foundation in your dating relationship that could possibly turn into marriage there are some things you should consider doing.
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The goal of dating is to find someone you are wanting to marry.
These Christian Dating Tips will help you know what to look for in a relationship and how to honor the Lord through it.
Christian Dating Tip #1
What Comes First
Before you even consider getting into a relationship there are some things that you should practice and prepare yourself for. I think this is the most important out of all the Christian dating tips.
Before the person, you need to have a relationship with God. That seems like a no-brainer in a Christian Relationship but you would be surprised how many people think they have a relationship with God but in reality, they don’t.
Before I started dating my husband, I prayed about this topic and I watched sermons about it. One sermon that really helped me put things into perspective was a sermon from Pastor Micheal Todd with “Relationship Goals”.
We all come to a relationship with hurts and baggage, we need to make sure that we are actively working on our past hurts because it is crucial to start your Godly relationship off on a good note.
Christian Dating Tip # 2
I am not a big fan of the term “red flags”. In this generation, the term “red flags” has been very exaggerated, and misused, in my opinion.
If you don’t know what red flags mean, it means to find flaws or to see warnings as to why you shouldn’t be with a certain person.
I believe that it is important to look for certain things in a person when it comes to dating/marriage but to turn away a person based on a couple of red flags is silly. We are all human and we are all sinners in need of a savior.
Not one believer is going to be perfect so there needs to be room for grace and forgiveness. We won’t have the chance to show grace or forgiveness if we immediately turn down anyone with red flags.
Christian Dating Tip # 3
What To Look For In A Significant Other
I think as a believer we should be praying over this subject every day. If you are searching for a relationship you might just find one that is not honoring to the Lord.
You should be praying for a man/woman who has a relationship with the Lord and someone who is following God’s will.
When you pray about it and if it’s in God’s will, he will let you know when it’s time or he will send someone your way. Until then keep praying and focusing on what season God has you in.
In a season of waiting for a significant other, there are some things you should ask God to prepare you for and to help you determine if someone you are interested in has the qualities of a Godly man/woman when the time comes.
If you want to read more about what to look for in a significant other/ spouse then go ahead and click on this blog What To Look For In A Cristian Guy where I go in-depth about what to look for.
Christian Dating Tip # 4
Some other Christian Dating Tips that I have learned personally is, when you are in a relationship there needs to be certain boundaries that both of you fully agree on.
My husband and I were friends before we started dating so we were able to have deep conversations and understand where we both stood with the Lord. If I could suggest one thing, I would suggest being friends with somebody first before you consider dating in this world nowadays…
This is a good way to get to know somebody before you decide on going to the next level.
Some boundaries that I think are very important in Christian dating that my husband and I practiced include :
We are called to practice Abstinence as Christians, it says clearly in the Bible that we should. I am a big believer in this.
Abstinence is the absence of sexual activity. Not giving in to any sexual immortality not just staying away from having sex.
This is probably the least talked about out of all the Christian dating tips out there which is sad. There needs to be more guidance and more conversations about this topic. The more we talk about this topic, the more people will have an understanding of why this is so important, especially for the youth.
When my husband and I started dating, this was something we had talked about that would be a no-brainer for us.
I know this may seem hard to do but I promise you it is worth it and it will be honoring God.
Related: What To Look For In A Christian Guy
2. Put God first
Before you make plans to go out on a date or to hang out with your significant other in a dating relationship, plan your day around spending time with God.
Meaning, plan for a specific time to spend time with the Lord. My husband and I tried to spend time with God before we spent time with each other.
Just make sure you are not making your dating relationship more of a priority than your relationship with the Lord. Don’t do it as a chore to check off a list but genuinely spend time with God.
At this time in your dating relationship, your family comes before your significant other unless married.
Your significant other should push you towards spending time with your family over spending time with themselves. Now don’t get me wrong this is selfless and sometimes hard to do, just make sure most of the time you are being supported to go see friends or family.
When you have friends of the opposite sex, you need to set boundaries when in a dating relationship. Remember, the goal of dating is to marry that person, if you do not want to marry that person or don’t see it leading to marriage, I would walk away.
My husband and I practice this to this day. We are mindful of being alone with the opposite sex. Not because we don’t trust each other but because we try to be above reproach when it comes to that, so we simply let each other know anytime we are in a position that may look a certain type of way. The rest is up to you to trust your spouse/significant other.
4. Alone Time
Since my husband and I practiced abstinence, we we are intentional about always being near people and never really alone. This is important when practicing abstinence because you should never trust yourself alone in a room with the opposite sex.
Christian Dating Tip # 5
There are certain conversations that I believe are so important to talk about when dating and preparing for marriage.
1. Make sure you both have the same beliefs
Even if you are both Christians, you both could have very different views or beliefs about the Bible. Having a different view is not bad at all but if your spouse doesn’t believe in certain things that the Bible says that you do believe that’s when it can become a problem.
Have conversations about your dreams for the future. If you want kids, how many kids you would like, what rules you would like to have in your own future family, and anything related to the family.
Talk about traditions you would like to enforce or carry on and talk about how you would like to celebrate Christian holidays like Christmas and Easter.
Having conversations about your future and what you want is to open up other conversations between you two.
Christian Dating Tip # 6
Learn How To Fight
You may be asking “What do you mean to fight, are you crazy!?” But yes, that’s exactly what it says, learn how to fight.
In relationships, there is a 100% guarantee that you will have fights/arguments and I think everyone should be prepared for it when it happens.
1. How do you and your significant other fight?
First, you need to learn how he/she responds to arguments. Do they need to walk away from the discussion and process, then come back out and finish the talk?
Or do they need the problem fixed asap?
This is important to know because once you know the way they handle things, the quicker you both can come to a solution.
Learn the way they fight and respect the boundaries, if they need a minute to cool down or to process, your job is to wait patiently and respect their wishes.
However, if they wait too long before talking to you if you are a solve this situation now kinda person, it could upset you. So you both have to respect each other’s way of fighting and not wait too long to resolve the argument.
2.Learn How You Fight
The same applies to you in an argument. How do you fight? Pay attention and let your significant other know what you need and their job is to respect those wishes but not to take advantage of them.
Christian Dating Tip # 7
Just like we all have fighting languages, we also have love languages
This tip has come in handy so many times in my relationship with my husband. The quicker you know each other’s love language the better off you both will be.
I can write a whole blog post about the different types of love languages but let’s start off with simply describing what these love languages are so you can decipher what your partner is in your relationship.
There are 5 love languages:
1. Words of Affirmation –
Verbal compliments or words of appreciation
Acts of Service –
doing something for your partner that you know they would like, such as filling up their gas, watering their plants, or cooking them a meal. When you give Acts of Service, you give up your time.
Receiving Gifts –
all the gifts you receive you view as an act of true love
Quality Time –
expressing your love and affection with your undivided attention. When you’re with your partner, you put down the cell phone, turn off the tablet, and focus on them.
Physical Touch –
Physical touch is a nonverbal love language people use to let others know they are cherished. The physical nature of this language leads some people to think it’s simply about satisfying sensual needs, but desiring physical touch is usually more about feeling seen and safe than it is about sex.
Christian Dating Tip # 8
Love Is A Choice
The last tip when it comes to Christian dating tips is that love is a choice.
The Bible states that we cannot trust our own feelings most of the time and that our hearts are deceitful. We were born of our father, father of the lies and deceit.
When following the will of God in our lives, we strive to be more like Jesus every day. Jesus loved. Jesus chose to love. He loves us even though we sin.
Love is a choice. When you choose somebody to eventually marry, you are choosing that person on their good days and bad days. This is a hard thing to do which is why the world has it’s own way of saying “Follow what makes your heart happy.”
Jesus will not stop loving us even on our bad days so why should we do that to our significant others?
The feelings you feel are lust, desire, admiration, and compassion, toward each other but love is an action, love is a choice that you have to choose every day.
In a world filled with broken relationships all around us, it is hard to find good relationship examples to follow. With these Christian Dating Tips, we can start being good examples for those around us. When dating to honor the Lord, we can show others how we glorify God through our relationships and show what all the Lord can do through marriage.